Friday, June 6, 2008

A Lesson learned...the hard way

Sorry in advance for my mixed up tenses and spelling errors.


So last night Pete and I learned a lesson. We learned it is best to have Eliza home before it is time for her to go to bed. We learned it is not a good idea for Eliza to sleep 1 1/2 hrs in the car right before her bed time. I guess sometimes you have to learn things the hard way.

I spent a lovely afternoon with Dana and her mom. We went to have our bridesmaid dresses fitted and then went back to to Dana's mom's place for a delicious Vegan dinner. Her mom is an amazing cook. Eliza behaved like a perfect angel. She was too adorable laughing at Dana's dog Belle. Like I said, it was an extremely enjoyable time.

We left around 7 ish. Normally Eliza goes to bed between 7 and 8. I was misguidedly thought she would fall asleep in the car, and I would ever so gracefully move her to her crib. After that I imagined I would spend the remainder of the evening relaxing with my feet up. Well, we hit traffic straight away. Welcome to New jersey. Welcome to 287 and 78! I have %$#@ had it with the traffic in this state. I digress- moving along with my story. While stuck in traffic I decide to place my hand on Eliza's head to check her. I am neurotic- I know. Bad idea! I think she feels warm and start to worry that she is feverish. I of course call Pete to tell him this, even though he is also stuck in the same traffic and can't do a darn thing for me. So now I am getting anxious as I see my plans of relaxing drift away. The baby might have a fever, I am stuck in traffic, and the husband is stuck in traffic. SUPER! It ends up taking us about a half hour longer to get home than I planned. As we pull into the parking lot I look at Eliza in the mirror and see her bright eyed and bushy tailed.

I call Pete to see where he is and he says he is on the road leading to our house. Eliza still felt a little warm to me (it could have been the hot car or my 85 degree house) and I wanted his help taking her temperature. I am not a fan of a squirmy child and a rectal thermometer. It all could go very, very wrong. Alas, Pete needed to go get himself 5 hot dogs and a milkshake for dinner so Eliza and I would have to wait. This gets me annoyed. In my mind 10 minutes seems like an hour. So I fly into super bitch mode- stomping around the house and taking Eliza's temperature anyway- just so I can tell Pete I did it without him when he walks in smelling like stinky hot dogs. Did I forget to mention Aunt Flo is in town.

Eliza of course did not have temperature. In my mind I decide I can whisk her upstairs and put her to sleep without a hitch. I try putting her down, but her little head kept getting stuck to my sweaty arm. After a few minutes I become aware that Pete has opened the door and is watching me try to soothe Fussy Eliza to sleep. I pass her off to him and probably grumble something mean under my breathe about having to wait and head downstairs.

A this point I see Pete's uneaten dogs and his ginormous milkshake sitting on the counter. I try to be nice and put the shake in the freezer. One time Pete got upset that I did not put his Ruby's To Go box in the oven to keep it warm, (I actually don't think this keeps it warm but don't tell my husband that) so this time I was being proactive. I proceeded to blog straighten up and wash dishes.

I realize Pete has been upstairs for a while so I go to check on them. He says that Eliza won't stay down. Every time he got her to sleep and put her down she would sit up and start crying. He had tried at least five times. He handed her to me and went to eat his hot dogs. Here is where I was just mean. I said, "I am not going to sit here and hold her all night. I have had her all day!" This was mean and I was being very selfish. Pete ignored me of course and went to eat his hot dogs. OK, maybe he offered to take her back and I told him to just go eat his dinner. I got her to sleep and tried to put her down. I woke her up as I tried to put up the side of the crib. DAMN! I ran with her into our bedroom and tried to put her to sleep on our bed. NO DEAL! In my frustrated state I loudly yelled, "Pete, I NEED HELP!" He came upstairs grumbling at me under his breath about forcing down his hot dogs and some other not nice things about me- yada, yada, yada. He took her from me and ended up finally getting her to sleep in the crib. I relaxed in bed and watched CSI.

After she was asleep we were both calm and relaxed. I apologized for being mean and selfish. I can really be a meanie in the evening. The stress from the day builds up in me and I sometimes take it out on Pete. Sorry babe! We discussed how we should probably try to have her home before bed time because that car nap was NO GOOD for bed time!

LESSON LEARNED!

I am not sure if the lesson here is- Mommy is a bitch at night or Eliza needs to be home earlier. Either way- lesson learned. ;)

17 comments:

Marmarbug said...

Shoot your nicer than me! I would NOT have apologized! At all. I can be a you know what too but I also think mommies need a break every so often!!!!

Future Mom (Heather) said...

i remember the ruby's burger incident LOL

Sheri said...

LOL I was going to say I would not have apologized either. Mommies do need a break since being a mom is a 24/7 job. My husband thinks I am a big meanie when I make him pitch in. Hope Pete didn't get heartburn from downing those dogs. lol

Jenn said...

I have older children and I tried to warn my husband about things like this , and so now because his mommy said other things, he has learned this lesson the hard way instead of just listening to me who has three older kids and did it with no help from the then husband he had to listen to his mommy who had two kids 35 years ago and let said kids do whatever they wanted all the time and never really watched them. Anyways back to the point you weren't really being too bad we all do it ! Him wanting to eat while I deal with a baby makes me angry too! Oh my now I sound bitchy haha,hope tonight goes better for you !

Missy said...

My kids were never able to fall asleep in the car and then be transferred to their crib, although I know lots of people whose kids do that all the time. Usually if my 18 month old does fall asleep on the way home, I have to let him be awake for an hour or so before trying to put him back to sleep, even if it is 11:00 at night.

Pam said...

I thought you were blogging about me for a minute and was wondering how in the world you saw all that happen last night?? ;) Seriously- this could have been me. This same things happens in my house. Maybe not the car ride nap before bed, but the frustration/stress/mean mommy stuff. If you figure out how to fix it, share it with me! My hubby thanks you in advance.

Amber said...

Yes...I've also learned that breaking the schedule is not the best...but DH says he's not going to stop living his life for Kaelin!

I went to a babywearing meeting today in Atlanta and Kaelin missed her am nap and then snoozed around lunchtime all the way home! No pm nap for her!

Amanda said...

Yea I don't think I would have apologized either - heck I know I wouldn't have. I get frustrated too in the evenings, mostly at dinner time when EVERYONE is screaming for food... I mean do men just tend to forget that they had a hand in getting these babies here so just MAYBE they should lend a hand and do something every now and then??? Geez...
Trust me, this could be a whole blog page for on this topic!!!
As for falling asleep in the car - I can transfer Avery (20 months) just about always from car to crib with no prob...sometimes Lauren too!! I think I just have lazy kids!

Sheri said...

I forgot to tell you, the other night I had to pack up the kids at 10 pm because our air conditioner went out. Grace woke up of course and thought the trip to grandma's was party time. She kept everyone up until 4 am!

Laski said...

Oh, we have learned that lesson the hard way (and sadly, we keep having to relearn it!).

I was never, ever a fan of schedules. But now, they are a beautiful thing . . .

Andrew W. Larrison said...

Sounds like you are great to both your baby and your husband. Don't forget to give yourself a break now and again.

Nice to learn an easy lesson from you that you learned the hard way.

Rebecka said...

Oh boy. That sounds like a recent incident in my household too. When we decide we need to run to wal-mart at 7pm to get formula when it could have waited until the next day. Of course Preston had to fall asleep on the way home. Sometimes if he falls asleep right around bed time he stays asleep. He's weird like that. But unfortunatly, that night, it did not happen. We got home around 8 and I went straight into his room and started rocking him. Two hours later I'm still in the rocking chair with my feet propped up on the ottoman half asleep. 10:30 he came in and took over. At midnight we were still trying to get him to sleep. He finally went to sleep at 1. I guess that 45 minute nap did more than i thought. I got cranky too. Don't feel bad. I was ready to just scream at the top of my lungs. But then I remembered I had an almost 4 year old sound asleep in her bed and windows open and the neighbors windows open. Yea, not nice. But I did get a little snippy with him. And he got pissy with me too. But we apologized and went on with our lives like nothing happened.
Aunt Flo sucks. I hate it. I wish I could snap my fingers and she would be gone.

Glad it got better.

Marcy said...

When Zach tries to put D down to bed, if it's not working after 10-15 minutes he'll just bring him back downstairs and try again a little later. It annoyed the heck out of me at first, b/c I'll keep trying and trying and drive myself nuts trying to get that kid to stay asleep, but honestly I think Zach's method is saner. Often it works, too-- he comes down, D is inexplicably in a better mood, and after 20-30 minutes we can try again and most of the time he'll go down much more easily.

However we still don't have much of a set schedule with him as far as naps so it may be easier for us to be flexible about things like that...

Nicole (SAHM Ramblings) said...

Sometimes babies or toddlers fall asleep in the car... ours did. But I swear I was never graceful enough to get them into the crib (or bed) still asleep. Always wide-eyed and happy while I was grumpy and annoyed.

I feel for you. But don't beat yourself up! :)

Pierrette said...

LOL

I can relate, it turn pretty mean to when Geoff is not home at night to help, or if he has something else to do...

Taking care of an infant all day drains you by 5pm, if your lucky.

Christy said...

You're too funny! We don't mess with bedtime in my house. The kids are always in bed by 7:30. Actually, I won't let Porgie nap past 2:30 and I won't let Izzy nap past 4:30 = otherwise, bedtime will be a nightmare.

lamamanaturale said...

Oh boy! We learned that lesson a few times! ;) Such a bummer and hard for both. I SO RELATE. Especially, since Aunt Flo's visiting me as well. I could go on and rant too, but I won't. Hubby's just don't get it- at least that's what I tell my DH!!