Friday, October 24, 2008

There's a time to love and there's a time to cry...

Is it wrong to wish that this week is over?

It ALL started last Thursday and since then things have just been ick. I was feeling much better Sunday and Monday but then felt physically much worse on Tuesday. The doctor said I was doing TOO MUCH and needed to take it easy. So for the rest of the week I had to basically take it easy and relax. I have had lots of help from family that I truly appreciate. However, I am not a person who just lays around all day and so this has been killing me. I want to go, go, go!

And then yesterday I sat down at the computer and glanced at my desk calendar. and glaring at me from the white page was an OB appointment I had made weeks ago. Today at 11:15 I was supposed to get my first ultrasound. Today was the day I had hoped I would see a little tiny heartbeat and since that won't be happening I just want this day to pass quickly and uneventfully.

I know it is OK to cry. I just don't like spending too much time being sad. It isn't a good place to be for me. So I give myself some time for sadness and then I get myself together because I have so much to be happy about.

7 comments:

Lori said...

Hugs!

Christy said...

I am sorry friend. I hope the day passed quickly.

Rebecka said...

((Hug))

Hopefully your day has been passing quickly.

Erin said...

This is how I see it..you do have a beautiful girl so you have a lot to be happy about. But you also have suffered a loss. You have every right to grieve however you want/need for as long as you need too.
Lots of hugs!!

Dana said...

Hang in there Dan!!!! I know you'lll be ok!! You are a strong woman - and you have a beautiful baby to look at and love each day!!!

Steph said...

I imagine you are going to have a ton of different waves of emotions. It is ok to cry and it is ok to wish the day/week would be over. Thinking of you!

La Mama Naturale' said...

Wishing you love, light and happiness through this difficult time. I'm much like you- I allow time for sadness otherwise it could get real ugly. Stay strong. You're right tho' there is a time! Hang in there. ((hugs))