Thursday, April 16, 2009

I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout birthin’ babies- at least not until 36 weeks

This morning I had my OB appointment. Can I ask why they have to weigh me before the appointment? Can't they wait 'til I am smiling and on my way out the door? I know I am going to gain weight but then I spend the next ten minutes doing calculations in my head of how much I have gained and how much I will still likely gain. So far in 21weeks I have gained 14-15 lbs. I have 19 weeks left and if I gain a pound a week my total weight gain would be around 35 lbs which is a fine wight gain. However, I gained 6 lbs over the last four weeks. What the heck have I been eating? It was those darn jelly beans!

Today I met the other doctor at the practice and unfortunately I was not a huge fan. Luckily, I will see the other doctor 90% of the time. Unluckily, this doc. could deliver my baby. However, last time my doctor swooped in about three pushes before Eliza made her entrance so in my opinion the doctor is not quite as important as the hospital, nursing staff and of course my husband. It also could have been a not so great first impression. She is a close talker and I know she is used to get VERY close to people-however, I am not really a close talker, huggy, kissy kind a gal.

I was so rattled after my visit that I missed my exit and had to call my husband for directions home. There were two things that upset me during the visit. She asked if I had any questions/concerns about the pregnancy. I honestly didn't but mentioned that I am already thinking about labor/delivery and about breastfeeding.I was not thrilled with her responses-especially after I overheard her discussing constipation with another mom- to-be in the next room for like 10 minutes.

In regards to breastfeeding...
She told me not to worry about it until I had something to breastfeed. This was pretty much her response even after I told her about my difficulty last time. She said all babies are different. DUH! I know all babies are different but this momma is the same. Am I just supposed to hope the baby latches on a goes to town? She said the hospital is very supportive of breastfeeding. I already knew this and it makes me very happy. However, I did ok with Eliza at the hospital. It was after we got home that the trouble started. I think she was basically telling me not to stress yet. However, I think it should have been handled differently. I am an anxious person and I need to do more than just wait and see how it goes. I actually think this is pretty lousy advice for any mom who plans to breastfeed. At the least you need a support system in place. Trying to find a lactation consultant when I was already having problems was stressful. If I had someone I knew and trusted things would have been much easier.

In regards to labor and delivery...

She told me we would discuss it at 36 weeks. What? She didn't even ask about my concerns. I would have been happy to tell her about my previous experience but it didn't seem all that important. I delivered Eliza at 38 weeks. Somehow I think discussing my labor plans at 36 weeks is little too late.

I know I could switch doctors but I do like the other doctor at the practice. Also, new doctors cause me lost of anxiety and I don't know which seems worse at this point- finding and meeting a new doctor or delivering with a doctor who doesn't thrill me. In all honesty I have spoken to numerous moms in the area and they all have had similar experiences. What is with New Jersey and birthing babies?

I am thinking I def. want to take the Bradley classes. I am not sure about a Doula but I am still considering it as an option. I would REALLY have to click with someone to have them assist with the birth.

and now a scene from my favorite movie-

Prissy: Is the doctor come?
Scarlett: No, he can’t come.
Prissy: Oh, Miss Scarlett, Miss Melanie’s bad off.
Scarlett: He can’t come, there’s nobody to come. Prissy, you’ve got to manage without the doctor, I’ll help you.
Prissy: Oh, lawsy, Miss Scarlett.
Scarlett: Well, what is it?
Prissy: Lawsy, we got to have a doctor, I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout birthin’ babies!


Lori said...

I'm sorry that she wasn't more supportive of your questions and concerns. I will tell you that I struggled nursing Blake and had NO issues with Colby. I think just the fact that I had more of an understanding of what was happening helped me relax and therefore he was able to relax. If you are still concerned, why not call a lactation consultant now and set up a meeting to talk about your concerns now

CC said...

Awww! Hugs!

Christy said...


Hot Belly Mama said...

I had to laugh because I DO THE EXACT SAME THING! I just had my appt last week and hadn't gained anything. But that's only because the month before that I was severely constipated. But I totally have a count-down weight gain ticker in my head that says, "okay, you've gained this much, you can now gain this much per week until you pop!'

Marcy said...

I wish we didn't make such a big deal about weight gained in pregnancy. Focus on good habits, but don't stress about the pounds. Every woman gains at a different pace, and the vast majority of us do fine. And guess what? You usually gain what tour body NEEDS to gain.

I gained NOTHING the entire first 16 weeks. Like, maybe 1-2 lbs. Then I gained 2 lbs/WEEK for every week after that, until the last month or 2. I was worried there since the "recommended" gain is half that rate, but guess what? In the end I gained a total of 35lbs. Spot on. Turns out, our bodies know what they're doing (big surprise, huh? ; )

I think our whole country has gotten so weird about birth (which is why movies like The Business of Being Born are important). I think the best you can do as far as breastfeeding is build up your support network now-- gather up websites and info, introduce yourself on forums like Kellymom's, and best yet find a lactation consultant or 2 that you can connect to and establish a relationship with now. See if you can also find some moms who breastfed, ideally in your area so they can help in person if needed, but online works, too (you know you can email me whenever with questions, right? I'll do what I can...). At least once or twice I sent out a mass email to all my mom friends who I'd known had breastfed, asking them questions. Their responses helped tremendously.

We're rootin' for ya. =)

Laura said...

Hey there! I don't think we've met, but I read your blog via Marcy's shared items. I'm Laura, Marcy's step-sister-in-law (yes we have a complicated family). If you're interested, here's my blog: Anyway, I wanted to comment quickly on this post. Feel free to ignore me. :)

Concerning your doctor: From my experience, I wouldn't worry too much about whether you like the doctor or not. Unless you end up with a C-section or have other complications, their role is to make a cameo appearance during the baby's arrival. I think you'd be better off making sure that you are aware of all the birth options out there, and then discussing your preferences in detail with your husband or doula, and then writing up a birth plan to give to the hospital staff and your doctor. Any doctor worth his salt will honor your requests if they are reasonable and you are well-informed.

Concerning breastfeeding: I very very highly recommend La Leche League: If there is a meeting near you, attend a few times during pregnancy and really get to know your group leader(s). These are the women who will be there for you at 3am when your baby won't eat and is too hungry to sleep. And not only will they do everything they can to solve your own personal breastfeeding issues, they will be warm and supportive every step of the way. I really cannot say enough for them.

Sheri said...

I am sorry about your docs visit. Maybe you can put a birth plan or wishes in writing, give a copy to the doctor for your file and take a copy to the hospital with you. I REALLY wish I had someone other than my husband with me for the birth too. I mean he is great and all but not exactly the support I needed.

As for the breastfeeding, Please try to attend LLeche meeting's while you are pregnant and after. I cannot express how important this was in order for me to successfully breastfeed this time around. Their website is
The meetings are once a month but I have called and emailed our leader too many times to count when I have had problems.
I also had a horrific time the first time around so I wanted to make sure I had a better support system this time.