Saturday, May 23, 2009

Oh the controversy...

It seems that potty training or potty learning is a hot topic among parents. I guess I hadn't given it much thought until I started the process with Eliza. I do prefer the term potty learning. My daughter is not a dog and I am not training her. She is learning about how to use the potty. She is learning how her body works.

Also, I don't usually give much thought to ANONYMOUS comments-but someone commented on my last potty post and it made me think.

It made me think that it was a RIDICULOUS comment.

Anonymous said...
Did you ever just think that maybe that your daughter is just not ready?

NO! I never thought of that. This is almost a laughable comment to me. In fact, I did laugh out loud.

I would NEVER make Eliza do anything if she was not ready. I am not making ELIZA go on the potty. Also, nobody can make my daughter do anything she doesn't want to do. She is strong like ox-both mentally and physically. Potty learning is not about making her do something, it is about teaching her how to be more independent.

We encourage her to pee and poo on the potty. There are no tears. There is no struggle. She is never forced to sit. If I ever sense that she is upset in any way we stop. When I said potty training was not for the weak I was JOKING! Eliza was being silly in the photo I posted.

Here she is 30 seconds after that last pic was snapped. She is watching her potty video AGAIN! Trust me-if I never have to watch the Potty Train DVD video again I would be thrilled. However, E asks for it every day. The she goes and gets her potty seat so she can sit and watch.

I find it interesting that parents are so concerned about their kids being ready for the potty. There are so many books and sites dedictaed to this topic it is baffling.

ok ready?

Here are the books you don't see...

Is your child READY to sleep through the night?

Is your child ready to sleep in a room all alone?

It is acceptable to let kids cry in their cribs when parents decide they are ready to sleep through the night. If you let your children cry at night you are teaching them how to fall asleep on their own. Why are parents so concerned with whether their child is ready to go on the potty and give little though to whether a child is ready to sleep alone? Let me make sure I have these popular guidlines for proper parenting straight. Parents can decide when it is ok to sleep train. Parents can NOT decide when it is ok to potty train.

I see the warm months as the ideal time for potty learning. Eliza usually spends time naked around the house. When there are accidents we clean them stat and don't make a big deal. We have a solid 3 months of warm weather that make it easy for her to get to the potty fast. Once the cold sets in it is much more difficult to undo layers of clothing to make it to the potty on time.
AAAHHH the warm weather. Going natural is the best. What could be more fun that playing with your sand and water table while your cheeks feel the breeze.

and that is my mom. Isn't she cute?


Missy said...

You are right - potty training is a pretty touchy subject. Like breast feeding or being a working mom, many moms have very strong opinions about how and when it should be done - and of course their opinion is the only correct one. :)

From what it sounds like, you are doing a great job, and as long as E is happy with the process and seems to be progressing, then keep it up! We had a terrible time training my daughter when she was 2 1/2, and there were tears and a lot of frustration - it ended up taking us over a year and it was awful. My son is now 2 1/2 and we have not started - and he shows no interest in even trying yet, so I am not in a hurry. I learned the first time around that your kid is going to be the one who will decide to be trained (or learned), not me. Keep up the good work!

Marni's Organized Mess said...

WOw!?! 96 days to go? CONGRATS!

THAT is hilarious. That comment is to die for. I got one the other day on a social network from someone with no kids who actually asked me to check signs of my child being sick by taking a temp and this and that. It was like, HELLO, I am not a friggen moron. I have been with him for the last 4 years. People can be so irritating. Like they really know ALL that goes one behind a blog.

Christy said...

I think most parents do put a lot of thought into whether or not their kids are READY to be sleep trained or potty trained or to sleep in a room all by themselves. Regardless of the task, most parents just want their kids to be happy and healthy little people.

I waited until both of my kids were over the age of 1 before I started sleep training. I waited until they were READY. They weren't tiny newborns going through crazy growth spurts. And the sleep deprivation was starting to affect their attitude and behavior during the day. But I suffered through that first sleepless year, because I didn't think they were ready to be sleep trained at such a young age.

I think it is great that you are teaching Eliza about the potty already. And she might not be ready to do it on her own yet, but it is still okay to learn about the process.

I am not trying to be a bitch. I am just saying that I think most parents look for readiness signs when sleep training and potty training and whatnot. You made it sound like parents are just haphazardly letting their children scream all night, with little regard for what is best for their children. I don't think that is true. I put tons of thought into everything I do with my children.

Amber said...

Kaelin has the same plaid shirt (in the first pic). I think it's great that you're on the ball with the potty! It's hard work, but it'll be worth it in the end!

Marcy said...

I was shocked when I started reading Diaper-Free Before Three and learned that not only did almost everyone get potty trained by 18 months just a few decades ago, but that this whole notion that we have, that most doctors hold, that potty training early is now DANGEROUS and will cause them problems, is not only flawed but has no basis on any science or studies whatsoever. It's astounding to me how these things that someone must've come up with out of thin air, with no proof, become the prevailing wisdom.

Christine said...

How old is she again? I really don't want to tell you how to parent as that is not my intent--- I just wanted to let you in on my little secret. All of my kids showed readiness before 34 months--- but in reality they were not. So we waited until right before their third birthday and within two weeks they were trained. I stayed home with them during those two weeks and made it a priority and they were successful--- all six of them. I don't know why it worked at that age for all of them, but by the fourth child I didn't even bother trying to teach them if they were not close to three years old--- even if they showed signs of readiness.

Anyway, best wishes at this milestone in your child's life. It will be memorable to say the least. :)

Future Mom (Heather) said...

Keep doing what you're doing! E is an amazing little person and you would know more than anyone what is best for her. Don't let people's comments get to you. What matters is what you & your hubby think is best for E (and the new baby). Whether people or books say a certain thing is right or wrong may not be the case for everybody. All kids are different & they don't come with instructions :)

Dana said...

in some of the pictures I've seen Eliza is playing with her potty. Maybe you shouldn't let her play with it, maybe it should be for potty use only that way she can start to understand it's for her buisness only.

And I don't think that comment was meant in a harsh way. Obviously you don't make her do something she's not ready to do. She just may not be ready or want to go on the potty all of the time cause if she was she'd be going on it all the time. I helped potty train kids I babysat and when they are ready they are ready to go on the potty and nowhere else. Give it time, she'll be ok.

La Mama Naturale' said...

We call it potty learning too! I think you're doing a great job. :) Tristan goes diaper free most of the time and we'll we have accidents but who care's. It's part of the learning process.