I can't manage my time. The only thing I can manage is to become slowly overwhelmed and swallowed by my home and my obligations.
I've managed to slowly lose my control.
Disorganization. Impulsivity. Inability to Focus. Becoming Easily Overwhelmed.
I can't finish anything I start. Like blog posts. or doing dishes, or laundry. or brushing my teeth.
I only imagine I was able to just barely deal with all this stuff up until the point where I had kids and became a SAHM. Now that I no longer have any structure and a lot more responsibilities I am pretty much drowning in my own disorganization.
I know most people jokingly say they have ADHD but I know I do. I am not quite sure if I have had it my whole life or if it has just gotten worse over the past few years. My parents think I just need to follow through with things- if it were only that simple.
My biggest res flag is one of my strengths. I hyperfocus and it is what has made me successful in a lot of ways. It is why I can read a book and a party and be completely unaware in what is going on around me. I have my own little world and I live there as often as possible. I have excellent focus and drive when something interests me and a complete inability to focus when something does not. It is my strength and my weakness.
Now I just have to figure out how to get it all together. I have no idea how to accomplish this task. I can't even get through brushing my teeth without doing something else at the same time.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Getting it Together
Posted by Danielle at 5/14/2010
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12 comments:
that has to be hard since being able to multi-task is a huge part of being a SAHM.
I can totally relate to this. There is so much to do that it almost paralyzes me.
Then things just pile up like you said. I have been trying to focus on just a couple of things a day or maybe even one. Even though my list is a mile long in my head. Like today it was get the dishes done. And then if that gets done I move on to one more thing. Because if I look around at this mess, I just wander around the room doing so much that it never gets done. Does that make sense.
I hope this does get better for you. Remember, as long as the kiddos are happy and fed, that is what makes you successful mother.
I'm right there with you Danielle, hyper focus and all. If you figure out how to deal with it all, let me know otherwise we'll just keep fumbling our way through it together. Some days I seem to do better than others, let's hope for more of those "some" days
A few years ago, my mom was diagnosed with slight ADD. She was always the same-- she'd start new tasks in the middle of doing something else, and wouldn't get stuff finished. She's now been on a low-dose of medication for it and says it makes a HUGE difference. At first I kinda didn't like that she was taking something-- I thought, "well, EVERYONE gets distracted, and she's so busy, of course it's tough... but we over-medicate! Is this really necessary??" But then I realized that what really matters, is whether it helps *her.* And it does.
I don't know if that might be the same solution for you, but if it feels like your distractibility is that hard to control and affecting your life this badly, it might be something to talk to a professional about and see what options there might be for you to try out. You can still always decide not to take anything, but just explore those options.
OMG...as I sit here in a pit of filthiness and disorganization, I know exactly what you mean...
It is so refreshing to see I am not the only one with this problem. I used to pride myself on being able to multitask well but now I feel the same as you...like I never finish anything I start and it piles up around me. I have mental piles and physical ones. The laundry gets done and folded but hasn't been put away in over a week.
I really think ADD is partly a product of our society. We have easy access to way too many things to do (including the internet). I doubt Laura Ingalls had ADD.
i feel completely unorganized and just "not with it" a lot these days.
hopefully you (we!) can get a handle on things soon.
I don't think I suffer from ADD, but I definitely lack motivation. For example, I never do the laundry until everyone is out of underwear. I think it is just the monotony of housework. Blah.
I know how you feel. On days when I am on top of things and it gets messy after one day I feel like I wasted my time.
Start with one room/day. If nothing else gets done you'll have an extra bounce in your step that one room looks totally awesome
I hope everything is OK. I'm kind of worried that you haven't posted since this somewhat distraught posting. Please post something to let us know that you are all right.
I can relate to this. I take it to strange extremes. Like after I feed my toddler breakfast I just can't even drink a sip of coffee even though it's my favorite thing -- I keep finding something else to do and putting it off -- then get frustrated that it's cold. I do stuff like this all day. There's a weird anxiety to it. Not being comfortable doing one, focused task. I think that's partly why it's so easy to keep checking email. Gives you that constant distraction.
I know how you feel. I'm also like that these days. Yet, multi-tasking is important to me now. While dropping off my child in school yesterday, I dropped by in the office of one of the best dentists in Aiken SC to have my teeth cleaned. After that, I went to a nearby supermarket to buy ingredients for dinner. The last thing I did before going home is buy a Jane Austin and Danielle Steel classic novel.
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