Thursday, November 6, 2008

NO! I don't want to, I don't want to!

Lately E had been pitching a fit about everything! She arches her back and goes all limp. This is usually followed by the screaming cry she normally does when she crashes her head into something. It is complete with the breath holding followed by the huge breathe and then a long loud wail. I feel so bad for her when she tantrums because I know she is frustrated about something. As you know from my Note Me Mondays I have been known to throw a tantrum myself now and again. I guess like mother like daughter.

Yesterday we were coming home from the mall and she didn't want to go in the house. As soon as I got her over the threshold she arched her back and crumpled to the ground. I tried to hug her and make her feel better because I knew she was frustrated. She clearly doesn't get that we can't spend the whole night at the neighbors or playing in the hallway. As a teacher I would ignore tantrums most of the time and sometimes depending on why E is tantrums I do ignore. However, the kids I taught were older and could communicate their needs if necessary. E is only 13months and knows just a couple kinda words and a handful of signs. Most of the time I try to distract her with something fun, try to get her up and moving an engaged in something else or I just hug her until she calms down. Most often the tantrum comes and goes in minutes. It is no wonder one of her favorite songs is Tantrum!

Tantrum - Spin Doctors


This is really new mommy territory for me.
and all I have to say is ...

No - I don't want to, I don't want to.
No - I don't want to , no, no.
No - I don't want to, I don't want to.
No, no, no, I don't want to. Oh no.
Leave me...alone.

12 comments:

Amber said...

I am so feelin' you on this one. Kaelin doesn't want to get IN her high chair, she doesn't want to get OUT of her high chair, she wants to stay outside, she wants to go inside and she wants it all right away on her timetable! I find myself giving in, and I don't want to be that mama that encourages this kind of behavior...I need to get a grip!

tryingtobegreener said...

I was a 5th grade Special Education Teacher for 15 years before I had my daughter this past December. I have seen plenty of tantrums in the classroom and always felt that with my experience, I'd be prepared with my own. But I know it's different when it's your child. It will be much harder as the "mom" dealing with it, as opposed to the "teacher".

Lori said...

I found with Blake I had to walk away... yes I know he is frustrated and struggling to get his point across, but by giving in he was learning to manipulate the situation and having been a teacher you've seen the kids who learned to do this early on.

I hope you figure out which is best for both of you

Jen R. said...

ha ha oh sad. I wish I knew what to tell you, but mine is only 9 months and hasn't really started the tantrum phase yet. I'm so looking forward to it though!

Tracy said...

Gotta agree with Lori on this one. When Madison was about E's age she went through a tantrum stage too. I distinctly remember one morning when my mom was over Madison's tantrum started near the bathroom. I calmly stepped over her and sat by my mom in the living room. after a minute or two she looked around, saw no one was paying attention and got up just do to the whole thing over in the dining room. Again no one paid attention so she relocated to the middle of the living room and dropped to the florr for a third time. After a minute or two she was off happily playing with something else. It isn't fun trying to ignore your baby when they are obviously unhappy but it is a way for them to test their boundaries and they really do benefit from having boundaries set at an early age. On the upside if you don't feed into the tantrums they will eventually go away!

MoziEsmé said...

I so wish there was an easy solution! So far Esme hasn't been too bad - she tends to be more so defiant (doing exactly what we tell her not to while watching us). But we do get that stiffed back/whining/fussing thing at times when trying to force her into her car seat, etc. And I have no idea how to reason with or discipline a kid at this age.

Missy said...

Wish I could tell you that it will get better. But, um, it doesn't. Maybe slightly better once she learns to communicate better and you can reason with her some, but then the tantrums and stubbornness just continue for other reasons.
In my opinion, ages 13 months - about 21 months are the "worst". Now that my son is speaking a bit, and understands what I tell him at 23 months, it is a bit easier. But like I said, now we have other issues - like refusing to share toys and being mean to his older sister by means of hitting and pushing. Fun times. :)

Dana said...

i love when I hear the wailing on the phone!! Eliza's the best!!! Sorry about the tantrums!!! I'm sure it's just a phase (let's hope)!! Just don't let her play a game with Daddy or you might have another tantrum to deal with, haha!

Melissa said...

Not Not Not looking forward to this at all!! I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to!! LOL...found a pic of you and Pete with Sean and I at a formal in AC today...must scan for you!

Christy said...

Just wait Danielle - it gets worse! Have I mentioned that my daughter cries so hard she PUKES???

Pam said...

I'm so sorry! If you figure it all out- let me know. Riley is the king of tantrums and I can't seem to get him to stop. He doesn't ue his words and he doesn't understand he can't have what he wants when he wants it sometimes. sign.....

Andrea said...

Awww...tantrums are the worst! We lucked out and I don't think Tate has EVER had a tantrum...yet! I'm hoping it lasts...but it is hard when they are frusterated and can't get their point across by talking! Good luck with that sweet girlie of yours!