Crazy

My lil sweetie!

Eliza wearing her jersey to a football themed 2nd B-Day Party!

I am not laughing- I am losing my mind-don't be fooled! I am actually on the phone with my mom complaining about how Peter never takes any pics of us.
Daddy and Jude!


Sleeping in Swing!

and here comes the crazy

So I have been feeling a little crazy lately. The hormones and the stress are making me insane. I am sure my husband is at his wit's end with me- it is no fun living with someone with anxiety. I lost it the other night and called my mom in hysterics. I have been having a hard time coping even with Pete home. I stress about everything- I stress about stress. I am on the verge of breaking down pretty much all the time.

I feel like I am a new mom all over again. I had Eliza on a schedule- and I found such comfort in the schedule. She would drink her milk, play for a bit- then I would put her down to nap in the swaddle for about an hour. Rinse- Lather- Repeat. It took me nine weeks to figure her out but when I did things were very smooth for the most part. Without the swaddle she would wake herself up every time I put her down or she wouldn't sleep at all.

Jude is a mystery to me still. The breastfeeding changes everything. He is up a lot at night and I am exhausted. He doesn't fall asleep after breastfeeding. He has been avoiding sleep altogether today- or he wakes up after a few minutes or Eliza wakes him up. I haven't been swaddling him because it doesn't seem to work as well with him-but that might be because E was swaddled with a binky and the combo really seemed to work.

Jude eats a lot (every hour and half- two hours 24/7). I don't know if he fills up on air but he chugs milk for about 5 minutes and then is done. He won't stay on after that. I try to relatch him but he doesn't really stay on (slides to nipple) and if he does he just nibbles and then cries or pops off when milk comes down. I am tired and worn down to say the least. I keep thinking- I have been getting up every two hours for forty one days- at what point will I go completely and irrevocably insane? I now breastfeeding is a challenge but I would love just a three or four hour stretch of sleep.

So I'm going crazy. Wanna Come?

Happy Birthday Eliza

I have been a bad blogger. I haven't had the time, energy or the brain power to sit and blog lately. My hubs is home this week and for some reason I don't feel like I have any more time. I have close to 1500 e-mails in my inbox and I am scared to look at my Reader. I guess I will get back on track eventually.

We have had some exciting things going on during my absence.

Eliza is now 2 years old! Happy belated Bloggy Birthday to my sweet lil girl! We had a small dinner for her on Sunday to celebrate the milestone.

Here Comes TroubleKisses for Uncle Kyle!

Pop's Sweetie!

We used Skype so that my brother and my two nieces could be with E for cake! That is what everyone in the pic is looking at while Eliza chows down on her cake. She tried chocolate for the first time- and I have to say she preferred the vanilla.


Jude turned 1 month old! He weighed in at 10lbs 6oz. I think he was 20 1/2 inches but I am not sure. He is only in the 25th percentile for height and in the 50th percentile for weight.

I promise to get some Jude pics up very soon! It isn't always easy to get pictures of us when Pete is always working on pictures for everyone else!


We are still breastfeeding. We have our good times and bad. I still haven't mastered nursing while lying down. Jude won't latch like that and then milk starts spraying everywhere. I really wish I could get it down because he is up a lot at night. Last night I was up every hour. I think I might have eaten something that bothered him. It seems that a lot of different food bother him. He is a bit fussy in general and so I really try to avoid anything I think might make it worse. Needless to day, I am currently enjoying a diet of chicken and rice.

Choosing a Baby Carrier

Choosing a Baby Carrier

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Baby Name "Stealing"

We all know I am way too into all things baby for a person who is not a mom, and not even pregnant. So I get bored and look up baby names online...no big deal right. Maybe it's the girl scout in me that thinks "always be prepared". I actually looked at my calendar today & realized that we are going to ttc in 8 months. So depending on how long that takes, it couldn't hurt to have a few ideas ready to go.

I have been googling baby names recently just for something to do to kill time. I was kind of surprised to find many message boards on different sites full of women complaining that someone had stolen the name they had picked out for their baby. I was very interested and read quite a few of them. They all go something like this. Woman #1 is pregnant. She & her partner agonize over the name of their baby and finally hand pick the perfect name. Then she tells woman #2 who is a friend or family member who is also pregnant. Woman #2 has her baby first and guess what happens? She uses the exact name that woman #1 picked!

I never really thought of it as "stealing" technically, but I guess it could be in certain situations. Obviously you can't exactly own a name before the baby is born. Let's say two sisters are pregnant at the same time and one tells the other the name she plans on using. If the other sister has her baby first & gives the baby that name while fully knowing she is taking it away from the other, that's totally stealing and they have every right to be royally pissed off. If in the same situation, both sisters just happen to be thinking of the same name but they don't talk about it before hand and then one sister uses the name, that just plain sucks but you can't really be mad about it.

Being pretty much the last person out of my family & friends to have kids, I have accepted the fact that some people may get to a name I like before I do. That's just the way it goes. If you are thinking your name is so great, chances are there are other people who think so too. Hate to break it to you but if you're in love with the names Ava or Madison for a girl and Aiden, Caden, Jayden, Brayden, etc for a boy...get used to the fact they will have a bunch of friends with the same name. On the other side of the spectrum, little Jude and Eliza have quite a good chance of going their entire lives and never meeting someone with the same name which is pretty cool. I have always said I will not use a name in the top 10 and still plan on sticking to that. My hubby and I have names that are normal yet not very common which is what I would like to try & go for with our kids.

My current favorite girls name is not even in the top 100 so hopefully it's not on anyone else's radar. Not only is it my favorite, I literally can not think of any other girl's name I like. My current favorite boy name is in the top 20, however 2 of my backups are between 50 and 80 and my last backup is also not in the top 100.

So I guess the question is, if you were pregnant & worried about your name being "stolen" there are 2 things you can do, which would be better?
1. Tell everyone you possibly can that name so they all know you are planning to use it.
2. Keep it a secret so nobody hears the name & then falls in love with it for their own kid.

How Do I...

I am here!

I am alone with the kiddos this week. Pete should be having some vacation next week- but for this week I am flying mostly solo- still getting some help from family here and there.

So....Um

How do I go to the bathroom?

I can't leave Jude alone because Eliza knows I am occupied and thinks it is a free for all. She takes this time to HUG her brother, POKE her brother, SCREAM in his face...and all that good stuff. I am currently sitting Eliza on the potty and reading to her while I go to the bathroom. Jude is stationed near by in his bouncy seat. OR Eliza sits on the big potty while I read to her and rock Jude in the bouncy seat. Oh the joys of motherhood. If my husband ever tells me he needs to go use the bathroom alone I might just smack him upside the head.

How do I cook dinner?

My answer to this is cook on weekends for the week, cook dinner in the morning when everyone seems to be in a better mood, and utilize the crock pot. Hopefully this strategy works! I can say the baby weight shouldn't last long because I have no time to eat.


Get Eliza to nap?
I still rock Eliza to sleep. So...I basically need to wait for Jude to either be sleeping or in a very good mood to rock E to sleep. If I lay with her she will NOT go to sleep. I can't lay with Jude and her because she is a whirling dervish and will smoosh him like a pancake. Wish me luck on this one.

Eat?
Eating dinner myself is not going to be easy. Jude, like most babies, can be fussy in the evening. Of course it seems like I am always the last one to eat. I need to work on this one stat- I can hear my tummy rumble!

Why am I so Whacked?

Today I went to the breastfeeding mother's group at the lactation consultant office. I actually made it to group without getting lost. This is a major accomplishment for me. Last time the GPS basically gave up on me. This week i went a different way and told the GPS no funny business. Everyone is really good at something. I finally figured out I excel at getting lost. I rock!

It was mostly new mom's and I was having flashbacks listening to them talk. Lots of anxiety! Now that is something I know about. I shook my head up and down in agreement so often my neck is sore. It felt good realizing I am not alone in being a basket case!

Here is a perfect example of how my screwy mind works. I had Jude weighed. According to their scale he is up 2lbs and 4oz from his birth weight. I am now convinced the scale was not at zero when they put him on. I am whacked. It is like I can't allow myself to believe I am doing ok with breastfeeding- because the minute I think I am successful-something will go terribly wrong.

Wordless Wednesday

Change, Change, Change!

Jude is three weeks old today! Where has the time gone? I have no idea. One minutes it was summer and I was pregnant and the next it is starting to smell a lot like fall and I have a three week old son and an almost two year old daughter. I'll try not to think about the fact that I'll be turning 30 in just 4 months.

Jude has been waking up every 1 1/2 - 2 hours at night. We haven't been swaddling him because-well-I was waiting to see if he had a temperament that would benefit from swaddling. It seems as we approach week three that Jude will most likely spend quite a bit of time in a swaddle blanket just like his sister. I broke out my copy of Happiest Baby on the Block to review soothing techniques. He is much happier when he is swaddled and sleeps better during the day- at least. At night we use one of the Velcro swaddles and he is still waking a lot. I am thinking of buying a Miracle Blanket because I have heard really great things about them. I am hoping his nighttime sleep will change over the next few weeks so i can get at least one longer stretch of sleep myself. A mom can dream right?

I can't believe Eliza is going to be two years old in ten days. I have been very sad lately that I haven't been able to spend as much one-on-one time with her. I keep replaying the last kiss I gave her right before I left for the hospital. As I bent down to kiss her while she slept, I knew that things would never be the same for us-but I guess I didn't quite GET how that would make me feel. I have spent day and night with Eliza for the past year. I ate with her, played with her, napped with her and slept with her at night. Although she is a daddy's girl and doesn't seem to mind much that I am busy with Jude, I still think longingly of the Mommy and Eliza show quite often.

A Mother's Love

We call this survival mode...

I think I can safely say we are still running in survival mode around here. I spent the past week at my mom's house so they could help out with Eliza. If I were to stay here with her in the condo she would never see the light of day and I don't want to do that to her when the weather is still so beautiful. Plus, I think the extra attention is helping her to cope with becoming a big sister. We are home for the weekend and then back to Nana's for another week. After that Pete will hopefully be spending some time at home- although he is doing his photography biz on the side- so he is pretty busy with that.

I give so much credit to all of you mom's with toddlers and newborns. Holy moly how do you do it without a lobotomy. Eliza is like a whirlwind. She is constantly climbing into the baby's cradle swing, bouncy seat, or on the nursing pillow etc. If I am trying to nurse she gets into everything! When he is sleeping she is poking every part of his face saying, Jude's eyes, Jude's ears etc. I know she usually just wants to give him kisses and love him but she doesn't exactly understand the concept of GENTLE! When the baby starts to fuss my body works too well and my stress hormone soars through the roof. This is usually happening at a time when Eliza decides to finger paint -say- the dining room table. If there were a black market for cortisol I'd be a millionaire. Any advice on this one?

Jude is doing great. He had his tongue released and we are still getting into the nursing groove. He is eating better but I am still having some soreness and that weird lipstick shape after he nurses. I have stopped keeping track of how often and/or how long he nurses especially at night. He has plenty of wet and dirty dipes and is gaining weight so I know he is getting enough to eat. I am hoping the latch issues will resolve with time. I hope to make it to the breastfeeding mom's group next week at Postpartum Place. I can have him weighed again which always help to ease me anxiety ridden mind. Sorry for all the info but that is my life at the moment. Nipples and milk people. That's it!

Other than that we have been doing lots of baby wearing. I received a purple sleepy wrap from Heather and it is AWESOME! I have also taken the kids out a few times in The BOB stroller and I do have to say it is worth every cent.

Now I am going to close my eyes quickly because both kids are ASLEEP and I am actually not holding Jude at the moment.

The Baby LAST Name Game

With the recent arrival of little Jude, I have been getting more and more interested in baby names. Note that I am not presently nor planning to become pregnant anytime in the next few months however my current reading material is "The Very Best Baby Name Book". Nothing like getting a head start right?

Although I have had my favorite names picked out pretty much since high school, I have had to make some adjustments considering when you're the last one out of all of your friends & family members to have kids don't be surprised if some of your faves get taken. Oh well!

I thought that for most people, getting their significant other to agree on a baby's first name that you both like was the biggest thing to deal with. I know I am going to have a major dilemma in this area. We can't even agree on furniture we both like so something way more important like naming our kid is going to be a huge issue. I was joking around with the hubby that he can choose the last name & I will choose the first name. I was totally kidding at the time & never thought for one second that any future kids wouldn't have his last name because I took it when we got married so there was really no question about that.

As I began researching names online, I realized just how many options for last names there really are. Let's start off by saying that my maiden name wasn't anything great. It was polish and weird and nobody could pronounce it. I understand that last names are your heritage and I am happy to be from the family that I am from, but there's no doubt myself and my female cousin were super psyched to marry guys with normal and easy to pronounce last names. Luckily my brother is around to carry on the name so it's not like the name is dying or anything. Obviously this isn't the case for everyone and some people are much more attached to their name than me.

Moving on...Here are a few baby last name scenarios you may not have thought of along with their pros and cons

1. Everyone has the same last name. Pro: School, doctor's office and everyone else will have no doubt who the child's parents are. Con: Whichever parent's last name is not used may feel like their name is being forgotten.

2. Make your own last name. Can you believe it is possible to combine your two last names to make a new last name? For example Kaplan and Kleinerman become Kapklein. Pro: You are starting a new name legacy. Con: Families might think you are abandoning them and your identity.

3. Baby shares one parent's last name. Pro: Baby has family name lineage of one parent. Con: Lineage of other parent will be lost.

4. Baby gets a hyphenated last name. Pro: There will never be any mistake who the child's parents are. Con: Name may be too long to fit on forms and may be difficult for others to remember correctly.

5. Baby gets both last names by using one partner's name as a middle name and the others as a last name. Pro: If you always write out the child's full name it will be obvious who the parents are and both family names will live on. Con: Some may be confused if the child has a middle name or two last names.

Obviously everyone's situation is different and maybe there are even some options that I haven't listed. I know a couple who was planning on combining their last names for their kids because they both came from divorced families and had no real ties to their birth dads who they got their names from in the first place. They eventually decided against it, probably because people looked at them like they were nuts every time they brought it up. I also read about a family who had twins and gave one the mom's last name and the other one the dad's last name. That seems totally confusing to me but at least both names will live on for another generation.

How did you decide on your child's last name?