Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Musical Beds

Right now our c0-sleeping arrangement is what I would consider musical beds. We rotate sleeping arrangements based on need at the moment. It is a bit like a sleeping circus at night in our room and when I wake up it takes me a few seconds to figure out where I am.

I usually sleep with Jude on a twin mattress on the floor. Pete and Eliza share our bed which is a queen mattress and box spring on the floor. Sometimes Peter and I switch so that i can sleep with blankets and a pillow for a few hours. Eliza somehow always manages to sleep in our comfy bed. If she wakes up during the night and I am with Jude and Pete is downstairs working she screams for Pete. Sometimes if she wakes up and I am in the bed she cries for Pete and tells me to go sleep with Jude. other times she is fine with me in the bed.

I would love to get back into my bed for comfort reasons but our mattress is too soft for Jude. We have tried to put him in the co-sleeper but he wakes up immediately bright eyed and bushy tailed. When Peter or I lay next to him we can pat his back and shush him back to sleep.

I want to transition Eliza to her own bed because eventually Jude and I will be moving into the big bed. We tried several months back to have her sleep on a separate mattress in our room (the one Jude and I are on now) but she would just come onto our bed when she woke up after a few hours. I am pretty sure the same thing would happen now. She is very sensitive at night and I don't want her to feel scared or insecure in any way. However, I can't have Jude and Eliza in the bed because that is very dangerous.

My brain literally hurts from trying to solve this problem. We don't have a toddler bed. I don't know if we should try a bed in our room again or we should just go for broke and put a bed in her room (and then just have one of us go comfort her when she wakes). I am not sure if I am comfortable with that idea. it seems easier to comfort her when she is closer to us. I guess I am leaning towards trying to put her in a bed in our room again. We just have to be a little more diligent that she sleeps in that bed and not in our bed. I could use another twin mattress at this point- or it would be helpful if Jude would sleep in his co-sleeper.

Do you play musical beds?


Heather @ Not a DIY Life said...

Not having 2 kids, I can't speak to that. But I can share how we've been working on Ladybug sleeping in her own bed. before her 2nd birthday, we had introduced the separate mattress on the floor, but she really didn't want anything to do with it.

Magically, the night after her 2nd birthday, she wanted to sleep in her own bed, at least to start out the night. She'll sleep anywhere from an hour to 6 hours on her own bed now before waking up and crawling in bed with us.

Our next step is to have an actual twin bed set up next to our queen so that she can be on the same level but in her own space. So if she needs comfort, I am right there but with my own space too. (Of course, Hubby is on his side of the bed, or at the foot of the bed, depending on the night!)

I hope some of this is helpful. Hugs.

Lori: Teacher Turned Mommy said...

I hope you figure out something that will work out for all 4 of you. I don't have an answer for you since we never co-slept with either boy so the transition went a bit smoother. I think you are going to have a transition phase no matter what you choose to do. you can choose to put her in her room and have one transition phase or put her in a bed in your room and just be prepared to have yet another transition phase when you finally move her to her own room

Christy said...

No musical beds in my house. Everyone sleeps in their own beds. I did co-sleep with Porgie until she was about 8 months old. When I found out I was pregnant with Izzy, I transitioned her to her crib. I went in every time she cried and comforted her or feed her a bottle. But when she turned one-year-old, I was exhausted and decided to stop responding to every whimper. I know that you probably disagree with this approach, but it worked for us. After a week, she was sleeping through the night. I basically did the same thing with Izzy, except he slept in his car seat next to my bed. It was the only place he seemed to be comfortable (he had lots of tummy troubles, so I think sleeping at an inclined angle made him feel better.) At 7 months, I transitioned him to his crib with a sleeping wedge. I continued responding to his every whimper until he turned one. And then we did the crying thing again.

Both of my kids sleep great now, but it was definitely not an easy feat. The key to success is sticking with it. My husband is really good at making me feel guilty if I break the rules. Starting the transition was always the hardest part. I always wanted to give up in the middle and go back to the way things were before. Once again, my husband would be the voice of reason and talk me through my panic attack in the middle of the night.

Eliza is a lot older than my kids were when I transitioned them to their rooms. Maybe you can convince her that the big girl bed is AWESOME, and she'll happily agree to sleep in her room. She is at a good age right now, so it might not be as hard as you think.

Funky Food Trisha said...

Every night for about 2 years. My youngest didn't sleep b/c of health issues for more than a couple hours at a time so I figured as long as humans were sleeping I didn't care where!

We only had one rule. Everyone had to start in their own beds. The theory being that once they were old enough to be on their own that the transition would be easier. It worked but who knows if it was easier. Once B was 4 he got kicked out of our bed and at 52 pounds it was time for him to go!

Musical beds are fine as long as it is getting you the most sleep you can get. I would recommend trying the co-sleeper again though. Have you tried sleeping with one of the sheets from the co-sleeper and then putting it on the co-sleeper? Also, is he warm enough when he's in the co-sleeper?

Infancy and childhood are extremely temporary. Hang on to that when it feels like it will never end and you will never sleep again.

Sheri said...

Grace slept with Michael up until we moved into this new house. I fixed up her room all girly. New bed, her toys in there, new comforter and cute sheets. I did this when she wasn't around and made it a surprise. This made her feel special and she loves her room. We started off by one of us laying in bed with her to go to sleep. She doesn't always spend all night in there but we are taking it slowly. If she does come into bed with one of us in the middle of the night, we let her fall asleep then take her back. I sleep in the bed with Noah and michael is sleeping in the guest room. Noah would do the same thing as Jude with the co-sleeper. It became a joke. If I wanted him to be wide awake to feed all I had to do was put him in that. I have lots of friends who have all the kids in the same room with them. What they do is side car a baby bed(with the railing off) with their bed and put the baby or toddler in that and one in the middle. This has worked really well for them.