The trials of mommyhood

I caved. In a moment of weakness I grabbed a copy of Sleeping Through the Night off the shelf at my local library. I hastily flipped through pages looking for answers as to why my daughter is such a handful when it comes to sleep. Did I mention her new thing is looking into my pleading eyes, smirking, pulling the Binky out of her mouth and flinging it across the room. Sometimes nap time is a battle of who cries first. I usually lose. I just want the poor thing to sleep. As I frantically turned pages, Eliza stood, twisting in her umbrella stroller intermittently yanking books off of the shelf and straining to catch a glimpse of some other kids playing with a nearby dollhouse. MMM Did they have a book on behavior in public?

I didn't intend to peruse the parenting section of the library. However, it was calling to me and my eager eyes could not avoid scanning for titles even though I promised myself I would STOP reading about how to be a good parent and focus on responding to Eliza's needs. I checked out the book. I was weak and confused. I felt good about the book for the whole five minute ride home. Nap time was upon us and with no time to read the book, I held it close to E as we walked up the stairs hoping the sleepy vibes would jump to her through osmosis.

I cried first! I think just having that darned book in my house made me more frustrated than usual. Instead of just going with the flow, as Eliza fought me like a fish out of water, I went into full on Danielle panic mode. This involved calling my husband at work. Never a good idea. I started rattling off jargon like self-soothing, bed times routines, structure, earlier bedtimes, vacation, sleep training, etc, etc, etc. My husband's response to me was that Eliza would most likely end up an only child. This did NOT help my crying as I abruptly ended the call. I retrieved E from her crib and planned to try again with the nap a little later. Remarkably, my frustration eased and I realized why I originally decided to STOP reading books on parenting. I was frustrated because I wanted Eliza to nap. Eliza didn't want to nap and I obviously am not a magician who can put someone to sleep. If anyone knows a sleep spell please e-mail me. Thank you!

I have a nasty habit of letting what other people say get in my brain. My mom and dad telling me I trained Eliza to be a poor napper/sleeper. WRONG! Other moms telling me how their babies take several 2 hour naps a day and sleep all night long. Frankly, it makes me want to poke out my own eyes with dull cuticle scissors. I know every child is different. E is just the kind of different that doesn't like to sleep. I hate to sleep during the day so I know how she feels. The truth is I am very happy co-sleeping with E. I think it has many, many positives that outweigh the negatives. I do struggle with the day time naps but we get through most of the time. A car ride here, a stroller ride there, and a battle of the wills on occasion. I guess it all evens out. I remind myself that she won't die from not napping. She will be a little cranky. And so will I!

I knew it was a mistake to get a book about sleep training. It just isn't for me. I strongly believe that as a parent you have to do what feels right. Listening to Eliza cry never feels right to me. Listening to others tell me Eliza needs to cry it out doesn't feel right to me. The answer is not in a book. It is in me. Even if she is just crying because she misses me- who the heck cares. She is 10 months old and wants her mommy. I am 28 years old and sometimes I want my mommy too. sniff sniff

"After all, tomorrow is another day!"

Just another Manic Monday

Seriously, is it Monday already?

How come when Friday hits the weekend goes in fast forward. Then Monday morning arrives and it all starts going in sloooow motion.

My weekend in review...

Saturday was the day of NO naps. Eliza would just not sleep.Pete was going to A.C. to see Bubba the Love Sponge and I was heading to a Fiesta at Tracy's. It was a busy day and we just wanted Eliza to be well rested. We tried all the sure things- walks, car rides and still no naps. She kept falling asleep in the car and then waking up and crying. She HATES her big girl car seat. As the day went on it became apparent that she had no intentions of any serious napping. She eventually slept a little bit on the car ride down to Tracy's. Unfortunately, the Jersey shore traffic was a nightmare and by the time we got there we could only stay for a little while.

It was great seeing Tracy and family. I can't wait to meet baby Stella! There was awesome food at the Fiesta as usual. However, it took all of my strength not to eat an Empanada. Sometimes being Vegan in no fun. Tracy looked stunning as usual. or maybe she looked stunned at the thought of being in the house alone with a three year old and a newborn for hours on end! You be the judge! :) Trust me when I say that Madison plans on being a BIG help to her mommy.

The ants go marching one by one- hurrah hurrah
Saturday we stayed over at my mom's house. Then we headed back home on Sunday and spent the day cleaning. This cleaning was comprised of attacking the gazillion ants that took over the kitchen in our absence. I HATE ANTS! As we were spraying them with Seventh Generation Cleaner I couldn't help but go all Pulp Fiction thinking "Any of you f***ing pricks move, and I'll execute every motherf***ing last one of ya." I told you I really, really dislike ants. Oh and im addition to the ant massacre I finally packed away my maternity clothes. It only took me 10 months.

Dinner for two three
Last night was the first time we ever went out to dinner with E. Peter and I had a gift card for Applebees so we decided to go out. Eliza was very well behaved. I am so proud of my little pumpkin. And because Eliza was so well behaved I treated myself with a giant glass of apple sangria- because I am such a good mommy. YUMMY!

and then I turned into a TWEEN...
So I am like the hugest loser ever and spent my Sunday night watching the new Ashley Tisdale movie Picture This! And no!- my 10 year old niece did not make me watch it. I think I was secretly brainwashed as I saw the preview probably 100 times over the past week. MUST WATCH PICTURE THIS!

Today is mommies group take two. However, he weekend zipped by so fast I hardly feel prepared. Then again, I am never really prepared. Although, I did have Eliza's swim class bag prepared well in advance last Thursday like I said I would. It is part of my new plan to organize and simplify my life. Stay tuned for more updates on how I am taking control of my mental and physical clutter. And no, it doesn't involve more Sangria- although...

NO NAPS FACE! Trust me when I say- I am smiling through the pain.