Wordless Wednesday

Fall Family Day!

Yesterday we went apple and pumpkin picking at a local pick your own farm. It was a perfect fall day and we had a great time. her are some snapshots from the day.

Noodles 4 Brains

I officially have noodles for brains. I missed Jude's two month appointment yesterday. I knew it was on October 22 at 9:00 a.m. I just didn't know that the 22 was a Thursday and not a Friday. Oops. I was so upset when I found out. Luckily, Pete called and got me in for a weight check this morning. I don't know why they didn't just schedule me a regular appointment. They did pretty much everything they do at a check-up except measure his length and head. I wasn't prepared to do vaccines but the doctor asked me what I wanted to do and I made a decision. I was annoyed that I hadn't checked my Dr. Sears vaccine book last night. Under normal circumstances Jude would have received 5 ( YES 5) vaccines today. Instead, he received the DTaP and the Rotovirus. Luckily , when I got home I saw that those were the two recommended by Dr. sears on the alternative schedule. We will go back in a month to do more. Normally, they would not see him again for two months. We will just go in more often so we can spread it out. This does mean more co-pays but I feel much more comfortable stretching them out.

Jude weighed in at 12lbs 6oz- exactly two pounds since the last visit. This is a good weight gain and I am pleased. He has changed so much in two months. He is not nearly as fussy as he was in the first sex weeks. Most of he time he is a happy smiley little guy. He has also become much more relaxed in the past few weeks. He will sleep in his bouncy seat or swing (still not the bassinet).

Eliza is also great. She is doing a great job as big sister. I am amazed at how well she plays independently. Somewhere between 23 and 24 months she really started using her imagination a ton. It is crazy to see the transformation. She has also suddenly become a cuddly child. She has never been big on physical affection but lately after naps she wants to cuddle with mommy. I must admit that I LOVE this change.I think she might be getting two year molars- but each ime I check I am scared I might lose a finger.

Pete is going to be working VERY late for a while. Last night he didn't get home until almost midnight. I was at my mom's most of this week and will be going back next week. My dad is off and my SIL is staying at my mom's. i think it is really important to surround myself with family and friends. Which brings me to the Zoloft. I took one dose and it messed my stomach up pretty bad. I haven't taken it again. Pete also brought up that it could make me drowsy and that could be unsafe in a co-sleeping situation. Not cool. I would really like to work through this without meds.

In light of Pete's late hours I am considering having a mommy's helper come over a few nights a week. It would be someone to help out with the kids (play with E!) in the evening.

so that's the update here on the home front- except I am not really sure where home is right now.

My Happy Boy!

Musical Beds

Right now our c0-sleeping arrangement is what I would consider musical beds. We rotate sleeping arrangements based on need at the moment. It is a bit like a sleeping circus at night in our room and when I wake up it takes me a few seconds to figure out where I am.

I usually sleep with Jude on a twin mattress on the floor. Pete and Eliza share our bed which is a queen mattress and box spring on the floor. Sometimes Peter and I switch so that i can sleep with blankets and a pillow for a few hours. Eliza somehow always manages to sleep in our comfy bed. If she wakes up during the night and I am with Jude and Pete is downstairs working she screams for Pete. Sometimes if she wakes up and I am in the bed she cries for Pete and tells me to go sleep with Jude. other times she is fine with me in the bed.

I would love to get back into my bed for comfort reasons but our mattress is too soft for Jude. We have tried to put him in the co-sleeper but he wakes up immediately bright eyed and bushy tailed. When Peter or I lay next to him we can pat his back and shush him back to sleep.

I want to transition Eliza to her own bed because eventually Jude and I will be moving into the big bed. We tried several months back to have her sleep on a separate mattress in our room (the one Jude and I are on now) but she would just come onto our bed when she woke up after a few hours. I am pretty sure the same thing would happen now. She is very sensitive at night and I don't want her to feel scared or insecure in any way. However, I can't have Jude and Eliza in the bed because that is very dangerous.

My brain literally hurts from trying to solve this problem. We don't have a toddler bed. I don't know if we should try a bed in our room again or we should just go for broke and put a bed in her room (and then just have one of us go comfort her when she wakes). I am not sure if I am comfortable with that idea. it seems easier to comfort her when she is closer to us. I guess I am leaning towards trying to put her in a bed in our room again. We just have to be a little more diligent that she sleeps in that bed and not in our bed. I could use another twin mattress at this point- or it would be helpful if Jude would sleep in his co-sleeper.

Do you play musical beds?

The OB Check-Up.

I had my OB check up today. She prescribed Zoloft for me. She said I could take it or throw it away- it was up to me. I am not thrilled with the idea of taking meds, but I know I am struggling a bit and it might help me get through the worst of these feelings. If I am no good- then I am no good to my kids.


I felt a lot like this after I had Eliza but I started feeling better at around 6 weeks. I anticipated it happening again but was hoping for the best. I had some good days this week and some bad days. I think overall I am doing better- but I am still struggling. The worrying and anxiety is just overwhelming at times. I hate that I am not one of those mushy "I love my being a mommy all the time" moms. I love and adore my kids but the truth is that sometimes being a mom is exhausting and overwhelming. I know that eventually I will feel myself again. Until then I just need to work on taking care of myself so I can take care of the kids.

Getting Out and Staying Sane

I have started venturing out of the house some. I haven't braved a store yet and probably won't for a while. Eliza loves to take off running so I have been staying away from parking lots and stores in general. I don't want to have to choose between chasing Eliza or staying by a cart with Jude. She isn't the best about sitting in the cart either. She has already jumped out of a moving cart into my arms.! I have though of wearing Jude but I need to get up to my full speed to catch E and not sure I could do that with a wrap.

I have been going and spending some time at Pete's grandma's (gramam) house. Pete's mom (Grammyita) spends a lot of time there taking care of gramam. When she isn' t there or at work she is visiting and helping me out! So last week and this week I took the kids out in the evening to hang out at gramam's house. It was great to get out and E really enoyed seeing her grammyita and gramam and of course I LOVE the company.

Tonight we are going over to Pete's sister's house for a bit when she gets out of work. Aunt Amber comes here to visit and help me a lot. Since she only lives five minutes away I figured I could go there some nights too. It gets us out of the house and Aunt Amber doesn't have to be away from her house all the time. Tonight we have special plans to make pumpkin scented play doh!

I go to my mom's quite a bit - but she is an hour away and Jude isn't always the happiest lil man in the car. My mom also comes here to help out when she can which is awesome. I am sure I will probably try and trek there once a week in the future.

Tomorrow night is dinner with good friends Rose, Mark and Alessia. they live across the street so getting together is a breeze. We haven't seen them that much lately and we really miss them!! I have also been trying to set up some play dates with other mom's in the development.

Trying to keep busy and interact with other adults is what keeps me sane. I truly believe that the invention of the house has led to many moms home with small children getting depressed. People tend to stay shut up in houses which I think is unhealthy. Friends and family are so important and I am so thankful to have so much help and support!

Wordless Wednesday

8 Weeks Old!

I know I haven't blogged in forever. I had the page open all day on my computer yesterday but never wrote anything. It was actually a pretty good day for me and it most likely would have been an upbeat post- but today I woke up feeling anxious which doesn't bode well for a good day. Jude spit up a lot this morning so that made me anxious and he seems much sleepier that usual. I am fixated on how much Jude eats. I am happy he has been sleeping some longer stretches but that means he is eating less often. At my last visit to the lactation consultant Jude took in under 2oz-of course she said it was fine for his age. He only eats from one side at a time- he doesn't want the other if I offer- so I am assuming he is is full- but if he is only eating 2oz at a clip he would have to eat very often to get enough. I know he probably takes more than that sometimes- but my neurotic mind gets going. He also cries after he eats sometimes- he is very fussy. Not sure if his stomach is upset or he has air gas- IDK-but it makes me so sad that he cries after eating.



Jude is 8 weeks old today! He is smiling and getting more and more alert. We don't go to the doc for his appointment until the 22 so I will update his stats then. I go for my 6 week appt. this Friday. It has been rescheduled twice- the last time because the dr. was out sick. I am a little concerned I am still spotting and cramping on and off and hoping to get some answers.

Eliza and Nana make cookies!

Visit to Nana's House

Pete is back at work this week. I will certainly miss him at home. Jude and Eliza are doing great. We visited Nana's house this past weekend and enjoyed some sunshine. I don't want to miss any of these beautiful autumn days. It will be winter way too soon.

Here are some shots from our visit.

CHEESE!