Musical Beds Take 3-The Sidecarred crib

The past few months have been a real adventure in sleeping arrangements. I wrote this post about musical beds. Then I started thinking about the game musical chairs. The chairs are always close together to make it easier to move from one to the other. Our beds were in two different rooms and that was getting to be a pain. Plus, I really missed sleeping next to Pete. I think part of the trouble I had falling asleep was due to the fact that I missed him.

That brought us to musical beds tale 2. We made a change to our arrangement. We pushed our bed against the wall and moved the twin bed next to our bed for Eliza. What happened? Pete ended up on the twin bed with Eliza and Jude and I slept on the big bed. This was better for me but not for Pete. Plus, I really wanted Jude on a separate surface but close to me. He was already too big for the cosleeper
(and never liked it anyway). I needed another option.

One day on facebook I stumbled on a site that described how one family sidecarred their crib. Our crib was dismantled in the hallway and not getting any use. It is a drop side crib and I would never use it as a regular crib again. It never got much use- Eliza only used it for naps. At first I though it would be ludicrous because our whole bedroom would be beds. However, I want the sleeping arrangement that best suits the needs of all members of the family. So I decided we would give it a try. Luckily, my husband freaking rocks and is always with me 100%.

As you can imagine he was thrilled to move all the beds around again. He might just start a third business as a mover. Seriously, he really didn't mind-which is what makes him so awesome. We have had the crib sidecarred for a few days now and it is going well. At first Jude did not want to sleep on the hard mattress. Can you blame him? However, after the first night he has done much better. He still usually wants some snuggle time with mommy in the early morning hours.

How we did it...

We secured the crib frame to our mattress box spring using bungee cords. This ensures they are held together tightly with no gap.

We filled the space between the crib mattress and the crib frame with the bumpers. We plan on getting high density foam to fill the space-but the bumpers are working for now.

Jude was asleep in his swing-so the part of Jude is being played by Elmo!

Here is a view of the entire bed brigade! I realize it is a bit extreme and some people (my mom) think we are crazy. It works for us right now. I know it won't be forever and in a way it is kinda fun.

Transitions

We have decided to start transitioning Eliza to her own bed. We do love co sleeping, but we do have a specific reason we are starting this transition now-more on that later this week. We hope to make the transition as smooth as possible for Eliza as we understand she will not sleep in her own bed/ or alone until she is ready. We want to keep bedtime a pleasant experience for everyone.

We currently all sleep on our mattress which is on the floor. We believe this is the safest setup possible. Eliza is a VERY active sleeper and we did not want to risk her falling off the bed (dare I write "fall out AGAIN!"). In order to ease her into her big girl bed we have placed her mattress at the foot of our bed. It is a little lower than ours which makes two separate surfaces. We also put some blankets on the floor on the other side for when (not if) she rolls off. We are going to start placing her in the bed for naps and at bedtime. We are assuming she will probably wake and crawl into bed with his (which is just fine) or one of us will hop down with her to comfort her back to sleep.

We made a really big deal about her bed. She was hopping all over it an playing for quite a while. She helped us to put on the sheet. I placed some blankets and teddy bears there for her. However, we do understand she just might not be ready for this transition. At least the bed will be set-up for when she is ready.

Eliza is sensitive about where she sleeps. She has never slept well in the crib which is why I am opting not to use the toddler bed conversion. It is too high up and not very safe for an active sleeper. Also, her crib is too big to go into our room and I wasn't going to stick her in her room alone in a big girl bed. That would be way to many changes at one. Instead, we are hoping to eventually move her mattress into her bedroom. Maybe! :)

Anyhoo, I will update in a week or so to let everyone know how it is going.

The dynamics of it all

Last night I was in bed awake thinking about these tantrums. Yesterday night E had one where she repeatedly started banging her face (with a open mouth) into the floor. This isn't the first time this is happened but it was the first time Pete saw. It is very upsetting to see and scary as well because I do not want her to hurt herself. I am hoping this is normal and not a symptom of something worse. After I went to bed I started thinking about the dynamic that causes the tantrums. I started to think about my own behavior and if it is effecting E's behavior. Although I am often right there with her I have to admit that I am sometimes not as present mentally as I could be. My mind might be off thinking about dinner or who knows what. I think if I really pay better attention to her I might be able to prevent a lot of the tantrums.

I know many people recommend ignoring tantrums but I do strongly feel there are two different types of tantrums. I think some are tools of manipulation and others are out of frustration. If Eliza gets frustrated because she is unable to accomplish something then I think what she needs is empathy. I will help her successfully accomplish the task by providing support and encourage her to communicate to me through whatever means possible. On the other hand if I feel she is trying to manipulate me I will ignore her unless I feel she will hurt herself by banging her face into the floor or who knows what else is to come!. I don't believe that holding therapy, or what I like to think of as a tight hug, is giving in to E. At that point I feel like she has lost control and I am merely helping her get in control- not giving in to what she wants.

Eliza is and always has been sensitive to her environment and stimulation.I strongly believe in attachment parenting and will try to respond to Eliza with sensitivity at all times. I am going to pay much better attention as to why she is throwing a fit in the first place. This morning she got upset because I wouldn't let her touch a picture on the wall. She didn't cry but she did throw back her head and arched her back so I moved her from the couch onto the floor (a safer place) where she proceeded to hit her face into the carpet a few times. I didn't react at all and she stopped after three times and moved on to something else. In this case I think she wanted me to let her touch the picture but that just wasn't going to happen.

Thanks for all your kind words and support. It really help to hear what other moms are doing and I know Pete and I will figure out what works for us as a family.