Musical Beds Take 3-The Sidecarred crib

The past few months have been a real adventure in sleeping arrangements. I wrote this post about musical beds. Then I started thinking about the game musical chairs. The chairs are always close together to make it easier to move from one to the other. Our beds were in two different rooms and that was getting to be a pain. Plus, I really missed sleeping next to Pete. I think part of the trouble I had falling asleep was due to the fact that I missed him.

That brought us to musical beds tale 2. We made a change to our arrangement. We pushed our bed against the wall and moved the twin bed next to our bed for Eliza. What happened? Pete ended up on the twin bed with Eliza and Jude and I slept on the big bed. This was better for me but not for Pete. Plus, I really wanted Jude on a separate surface but close to me. He was already too big for the cosleeper
(and never liked it anyway). I needed another option.

One day on facebook I stumbled on a site that described how one family sidecarred their crib. Our crib was dismantled in the hallway and not getting any use. It is a drop side crib and I would never use it as a regular crib again. It never got much use- Eliza only used it for naps. At first I though it would be ludicrous because our whole bedroom would be beds. However, I want the sleeping arrangement that best suits the needs of all members of the family. So I decided we would give it a try. Luckily, my husband freaking rocks and is always with me 100%.

As you can imagine he was thrilled to move all the beds around again. He might just start a third business as a mover. Seriously, he really didn't mind-which is what makes him so awesome. We have had the crib sidecarred for a few days now and it is going well. At first Jude did not want to sleep on the hard mattress. Can you blame him? However, after the first night he has done much better. He still usually wants some snuggle time with mommy in the early morning hours.

How we did it...

We secured the crib frame to our mattress box spring using bungee cords. This ensures they are held together tightly with no gap.

We filled the space between the crib mattress and the crib frame with the bumpers. We plan on getting high density foam to fill the space-but the bumpers are working for now.

Jude was asleep in his swing-so the part of Jude is being played by Elmo!

Here is a view of the entire bed brigade! I realize it is a bit extreme and some people (my mom) think we are crazy. It works for us right now. I know it won't be forever and in a way it is kinda fun.

Transitions

We have decided to start transitioning Eliza to her own bed. We do love co sleeping, but we do have a specific reason we are starting this transition now-more on that later this week. We hope to make the transition as smooth as possible for Eliza as we understand she will not sleep in her own bed/ or alone until she is ready. We want to keep bedtime a pleasant experience for everyone.

We currently all sleep on our mattress which is on the floor. We believe this is the safest setup possible. Eliza is a VERY active sleeper and we did not want to risk her falling off the bed (dare I write "fall out AGAIN!"). In order to ease her into her big girl bed we have placed her mattress at the foot of our bed. It is a little lower than ours which makes two separate surfaces. We also put some blankets on the floor on the other side for when (not if) she rolls off. We are going to start placing her in the bed for naps and at bedtime. We are assuming she will probably wake and crawl into bed with his (which is just fine) or one of us will hop down with her to comfort her back to sleep.

We made a really big deal about her bed. She was hopping all over it an playing for quite a while. She helped us to put on the sheet. I placed some blankets and teddy bears there for her. However, we do understand she just might not be ready for this transition. At least the bed will be set-up for when she is ready.

Eliza is sensitive about where she sleeps. She has never slept well in the crib which is why I am opting not to use the toddler bed conversion. It is too high up and not very safe for an active sleeper. Also, her crib is too big to go into our room and I wasn't going to stick her in her room alone in a big girl bed. That would be way to many changes at one. Instead, we are hoping to eventually move her mattress into her bedroom. Maybe! :)

Anyhoo, I will update in a week or so to let everyone know how it is going.

a rant and some tv theme songs

Something has been bothering me for quite some time and so I am going to rant just a lil...

If you had asked me about co sleeping before Eliza was born I probably would have responded by saying 1) I will never do it and 2) it is dangerous. My husband would have backed me up 100%. I also would have explained that my daughter would sleep through the night in a crib and CIO if she had other plans. Like I said this is BEFORE my sweet Eliza was born, when the only information I used as a basis for decisions was my mom's account of my own infancy. My mom and dad believed in letting me cry, so they did, and here I am today only partially screwed up. hee hee I don't fault my parents for their decision. They are amazing parents and I believe you can screw up your kid however you choose. That is one of the many joys of becoming a parent.

However, time, research and experience have definitely changed my entire outlook on nighttime parenting and parenting in general. I no longer believe children should sleep alone. I refuse to see Eliza's waking up at night as an inconvenience even at 16 months old. I know better than to expect a baby or small child to sleep through the night. Some kids do sleep and that is super, but most don't and that is ok too. Parenting is a 24/7 job and I have accepted that getting up at night is in my job description. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I enjoy it tremendously. However, when I accepted the simple truth that Eliza sometimes needs me in the middle of the night I finally rested a little easier. When I learned to stop listening to other people and started listening to my heart, my instincts, parenting became much easier.

I believe in co sleeping. I believe in it big time. Whether it means a bassinet in your bedroom, a co sleeper, or bed sharing (our choice!)- I believe that babies and parents should be close together for optimal development. I think it a viable choice for all families who are interested. I think it is a shame that it has a bad reputation and that many people are misinformed about the safety of sleeping with baby.

I do NOT think cribs are the safest place for babies. I think a baby (especially a newborn) in a crib in a different room is dangerous. You can agree to disagree and that is fine. I never felt safe with E in a different room. I always felt the most at ease when I could feel her breathing body next to mine. This is what felt right to me.

I am NOT attacking your sleep arrangement or your parenting choices. I am defending my own- because I am often chastised for co sleeping. I am given opinions when I don't ask for them by people who think they know what is best for my family. I listen to others being praised for letting their children cry and I listen to people put me down for sleeping with my baby. I have also experienced eye rolling, knowing looks and whispering behind my back. People warn Eliza will never want to leave the bed. HA! and why do you even care..it is my bed -not yours. When she wants to sleep in your bed then it is your issue.

It is wrong to put down the parenting choices of other people. I would never put down your choices...because I believe you are entitled to do as you please. If you disagree with what someone is doing- do them a favor and zip your lips. If someone asks for your advice or opinion then by all means let those loose lips fly!

I think one of the hardest parts of being a new parent is fielding the enormous amount of advice people throw your way. Do this. Don't do that. I did it this way. We used to do it this way. Your gonna do what? The truth is, that if everyone would pipe down long enough to give the new mom and dad a chance to think-they would know the answer that is right for them.

Follow your gut.

and remember different strokes for different folks



man i loved that show

and now because i love all tv theme songs


and i bet those crunchy Keatons coslept :)

Sleepy Time Princess

I am beginning to think that my little E is turning into a sleepy time princess. Lately she has been boycotting naps. She thinks two half hour naps in the crib are enough to recharge her tiny body. However, I usually end up holding her so she will sleep longer. When I hold her she will sleep and hour to an hour and a half. If I put her down she wakes up. When I pick her back up she drifts right to sleep. Spoiled much? I am really torn about doing this. I adore her and love to cuddle her sleepy body, but I don’t always have the time to sit there and gaze at her sleeping face. I know I should savor the time. She probably won’t be an only child forever and I will never again have the one-on-one time with her that I have now. On the other hand, am I creating a sleeping monster? I just can’t deal with a crabby baby. I want her to get a good nap so I hold her. My husband is equally, if not more, guilty of this offense. She is a total daddy’s girl.

The trouble does not end with naps. She has recently started waking around 2 a.m. to get in bed with us. I don’t mind this so much as we have co-slept on and off since she was four months old. However, I was alone the other night and it is just not safe with just she and I in the bed. Pete will be alone with her Saturday night because I will be at a bachelorette party in Atlantic City. I am worried that she will wake and he will have to bring her into bed to get her to sleep.

I know she a getting spoiled but I really see no other options. I am NOT a CIO type of mommy. However, I am worried I am creating a spoiled little princess.

Getting Eliza to sleep and stay asleep has been a journey for us as new parents. I wrote about it here but never put it up as a post because it was sooooo lengthy and I originally planned on some revisions. I guess it is really more for me. If you choose to read it I warn you that it is tediously long.

So am I creating a sleep monster?